Ashley G. and Brian Regan

Q: How are you today?
A: Because my heart is beating.

Q: Huh?
A: You asked, “How are you today?” “How?” That’s how.

Q: This is going to be a tough interview.
Where do you get your ideas for your jokes.
A: I get them in Spain.

Q: Can you answer that question seriously?
A: Okay, I get them in Albuquerque.

Q: You use the word Albuquerque a lot. Why?
A: Because it reminds me of when I was growing up in Albuquerque, going to Albequerque High, and working at
Albuquerque Al’s Authentic House of Albuquerquian Cuisine.

Q: And where was that?
A: In New Mexico.

Q: Why I oughta… Never mind. Okay, what was your first joke ever?

Q: I don’t get it.
A: It’s a newly born infant joke. It’s very funny.

Q: Is it hard being a comedian?
A: Oh yes. Especially when I’m in bars and motorcycle gangs walk in bellowing things like, “Who here does observational comedy?”

Q: Do you ever get heckled?
A: No. Oh wait, one time. A guy in Nebraska yelled something about corn. But he might have just been ordering.

Q: Were you always funny?
A: No. I wasn’t funny on November 3rd,

Q: Why is that?
A: I just couldn’t think of anything funny
that day.

For the rest of it, go to this link:

Little Rascals

Darla and AlfalfaDear Darla,
I hate your stinking guts.
You make me vomit.
You’re scuuuuuuuuuum between my toes!
Love, Alfalfa.

Vin Diesel Jokes

Vin DieselAround the same time that Chuck Norris jokes became popular, Vin Diesel jokes were also spreading. I think Chuck Norris is one of those celebrities that’s in that strange spot between famous and in-famous, because of the cheesy nature of the shows and roles that he takes part in. Here are a few jokes about Vin Diesel.

The crater in the Yucatan Penninsula was created when Vin Diesel’s spaceship ran out of fuel and crashed into the face of the earth.

Vin often eats seven burning tires for a midnight snack.

Vin Diesel discovered his name is an anagram for “The perfect human”. Those who were skeptical attempted it and found it was indeed true.

Vin Diesel got so angry at a mountain blocking his path that he punched it as hard as he could. Some of the pieces came back down and are now called Stonehenge. The part that didn’t became the moon.

Homestar Runner

Homestar RunnerA shout out to my old friend the Homestar Runner for being consistantly funny and the source of much of my comic-relief material for the last 3 or 4 years. I can’t believe I’ve been watching the stuff on that site every week since Strong Bad E-mail #29! Anyway, look at that one, and more! I just wanted to mention it because it’s been getting funnier and funnier.

Features to look for:
Marzipan’s Answering Machine: Chaos ensues with every new message that she gets!
Teen Girl Squad!: A hilarious look back at the girls from your class. Seriously..every class had these girls.
Strong Bad E-mails: Strong Bad answers a REAL e-mail almost every monday. Hilarity ensues.
Toons, Shorts, Holiday, Puppet Stuff, Powered by The Cheat: The genius continues as the characters are expanded with spinoffs and other things!

It’s hard to believe this is all the brainchild of Mike and Matt Chapman, aka the Brothers Chaps. One animates, and the other does all of the voices except for Marzipan, and The Cheat’s cartoon voices.

Not only that, but the site is clean, and the animation is better than a lot of what we see on TV these days.

Lord of the Rings indeed

My friend Kathy sent me this. Too hilarious not to put up here!