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Site Last Updated:
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Contest of Champions

Leia vs. JanewayCaptain Janeway vs. Princess Leia

Captain Janeway Princess Leia
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 130 lbs.
Reach: 32"
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 115 lbs.
Reach: 30"

Princess Leia Organa of "Star Wars: A New Hope" takes on Captain Kathryn Janeway of "Star Trek: Voyager" in a battle of the bun-heads. Their run-in takes place on the Voyager, where, earlier in the day, Janeway welcomed Leia aboard as a hitchhiker. Now, way past bedtime, Janeway has been alerted to a disturbance in the dining room.

Round One: Janeway peers around the dining room door. Leia, clad in her jammies, sits at a table, stuffing her face with frosted cinnamon rolls. Janeway is outraged; those are her personal rolls, specially prepared for her by Neelix.

"Okay, missy," says Janeway, arms akimbo. "Drop those rolls."

Round Two: Frantically chewing, Leia rises and backs away. She slips her hand into her waistband, fishing for her blaster.

Round Three: Janeway dives for the rolls, grabs the entire tray and flings it at Leia. Leia ducks. The rolls bounce off the wall behind her. "I have withstood the tortures of Darth Vader," says Leia, wiping her mouth. "I'm not afraid of your pastries!"

Round Four: Janeway vaults over the table. Leia karate-chops her in the larynx. Janeway thuds to the floor. Gagging, clutching her throat, Janeway hacks up a frog, which scrambles under a counter. "Hey," says Janeway, surprised. "I can talk normal now!"

Round Five: As Janeway struggles to her feet, Leia leaps to catch her in a flying-head-scissors. Janeway catches her mid-leap and throws Leia flat on her back. Janeway straddles her, pinning her shoulders to the floor. Leia's groping hand finds a cinnamon roll. She slaps it against Janeway's head. Janeway screams as hot frosting streams down her cheek.

Round Six: Still straddling Leia, Janeway begins to backhand her. "This (Smack!) is for betraying my trust," says Janeway. "This (Smack!) is for eating my rolls. And this (Smack!) is for kissing your brother and making us all sick." Leia goes limp.

Winner: Captain Janeway

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