Round One:"Your stories are dull and pointless!" sneers Sheridan, clobbering Bashir over the head with a beer bottle.
Bashir kicks Sheridan in the groin. "And yours are confusing and incomprehensible!"
Round Two: Ivanova pokes Kira in the eye. "'DS9' is bleak and dreary!"
"Oh yeah?" says Kira, landing a roadhouse to Ivanova's jaw. "'B5' is dreary and bleak!"
Round Three: "Sisko is so stiff," says Vir, yanking Dax's hair. "He makes Al Gore look like Jim Carrey!"
"Who does your special effects?" asks Dax, stomping on Vir's foot. "Industrial Light and Velveeta?"
Round Four: Sisko slams Lennier to the ground, then jumps up and down on his stomach. "Your women have about as much sex appeal as a sack of gym socks!" says Sisko.
"Gak!" wheezes Lennier.
Round Five: Jake has G'Kar in a headlock. "When the 'Next Generation' guys call it quits," says Jake, "we're gonna be movie stars...too!"
Round Six: The "Deep Space Nine" cast stops fighting and begins to giggle. They fall on the floor in a fit of hysteria. "Well, at least in made-for-TV movies, for sure," Ivanova points out.
Round Seven: The "Deep Space Nine" cast dies laughing.
Winner: Babylon 5