Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris was born with his beard.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Though the creators of The Matrix were close to the truth, there were several glaring errors. For one, we are not inside of a giant computer, but rather the mind of Chuck Norris. Also, the people in "The Matrix" are granted glimpses into the real world, this is via Conan O'Brien's now classic bit: The Walker Texas Ranger Lever.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.