Round One: C-3PO approaches a locked door. On the other side waits the Robot. "Now, now, don't be afraid," C-3PO mutters to himself, fiddling with the lock, "He's nothing more than obsolete technology from the 1960s. A piece of cake."
Round Two: The door opens. Behind it stands a 9' monstrosity with four arms and a single red eye. It raises its arms.
"Holy [EXPLETIVE DELETED]!" shrieks C-3PO, who zips from the room and slams the door behind him.
Round Three: C-3PO is panicky. "This can't be right!" He locks the door and leans against it.
Round Four: From the other side of the door comes a quiet, yet firm voice. "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!"
"What was that?" C-3PO rubs his chin. "He surely can't think I am this Will Robinson person. Or is it a trick? Oh, what to do!"
Round Five: Seconds pass. Overcome with curiosity, C-3PO cautiously opens the door.
Round Six: The Robot grabs C-3PO around the throat. "What are you doing?" squeaks C-3PO. "I'm not Will Robinson!"
"I know," says the Robot, lifting C-3PO off the floor. "I just like saying that."
Round Seven: The Robot shakes C-3PO up and down. "Gl-ac-k-ru-ccchhh...!" says C-3PO.
Round Eight: C-3PO's head separates from his body.
Round Nine: The Robot drop-kicks the head.
Winner: The Robot