The Paul Feig Electronic Press TM
A division of the Avon Corporation, in conjuction with the good folks at Malt-o-Meal
(Hey, it's worth a try, ain't it?)
What's the "S" stand for? Wouldn't you like to know! Well, mind your own business. I don't go bustin' your chops about your middle initial, do I?
Friends, a treasure trove of information awaits you if you dare enter!
First things first. Don't forget to check out freaksandgeeks.com. Look below to see what "Freaks and Geeks" is! (Or just head there right now, if you want. But please come back after you do.)
Updated September 24th, 1999
Okay, now back to business ...
I'm Paul Feig and welcome to my web site!
Sure, this site's old fashioned looking, without all them there fancy java graphics and woo-woo animated logos but ... well ... just consider this a "step back in time."
Here's some old business to take care of ...
It's been a long time but there's still a few of you who don't know what's up on the "Sabrina" front.
AND NOW ...
For you first time visitors:
(You can skip over all this if you've been here before -- and chances are, you have)
This is the most user-friendly web page on the whole ever-lovin' Internet.
Yes, thanks to the miracle of clip art and a highly developed mind, Paul Feig is
able to bring you the fastest downloading web page in town.
"But that's impossible," you say.
Well, friend, there's ...
No Cumbersome Color Graphics!
I mean, c'mon, how many bad computer art drawings does any one person have to be subjected to during an otherwise pleasant afternoon of web surfing?
No Pictures of Me!
If you can read this, you're not only too close but chances are you know who I am so you don't need my face staring at you while you try to read.
And No Dopey Wallpaper!
You know, gray's quite a nice color and nothing shoots through those choking modem lines faster than the color of our brains (unless you're using the AOL browser, then who the heck knows what color this page is showing up as).
And why does Paul have this page of blatant self-promotion?
Because it's all part of my quest to become the Angelyne of the Internet.
(You know, those billboards are pretty expensive. This way, AOL's picking up the tab. Clever, no?)
HERE'S WHAT YOU GET!
Be sure to check in every week for new things. I try to update regularly! Just for you. I wouldn't do it for anyone else. But I like you. I like your attitude. You've got spunk.
Congratulations! Look at the group you've just joined. You're a number now! Tattoo it on your forehead. C'mon! If you really loved me, you'd do it.
What number are you? Write it down. It's your new lucky number! (Until you check in again.)
And you can always write me! But watch your "their's" and "they're's."
In case you didn't notice ...
I'M NO LONGER ON THE SHOW!
And I haven't been for quite a while.
And it's the best thing that ever happened to me because if it didn't, "Freaks and Geeks" would only be a glimmer in my science-teacher-portraying eye. But in case you're curious, here's what happened ...
They wrote me out! Right after the first season.
They said you, the audience, wouldn't want to watch the same teacher two years in a row.
The reason I'm telling you this is that I am no longer sending out autographed photos ...
I appreciate all the kind emails and autograph requests but, hey, I'm no longer going to support a show that fired me by spending my own money to print up and mail Mr. Pool pictures all over the world when Mr. Pool doesn't even exist anymore.
I'm not being mean. It's a matter of economics. When they wrote me out of the show, they took my economics away. And now I'm forced to pass the savings on to you.
Besides, you don't really need my picture. Trust me, I see myself everyday and it's no treat. So, do yourself a favor and spare your house the blight of a Paul Feig picture hanging in the den or garage.
You'll be glad you did.
And thanks to everybody who has written and told me that they are fans. I really do appreciate it. It's just that it's starting to seem a little pathetic for me to send out pictures from a show that I haven't been on in over a year.
I mean, c'mon, who am I? Freakin' Burt Ward?!!
THANKS TO YOU ALL ... AND SORRY!